Collective Voices: I'm Hella Good with That...

*Collective Voices are the thoughts and stories of real people who are part of the CollectiveMKE community. They speak from their perspective and in their voice. Today we hear from Mindy as she shares the daily reality of being a wife and a mother of black men in 2016. Read more of Mindy's thoughts HERE.

I'm Hella Good with That...

Another black man was killed today.

This could have been written almost any day.

Another officer wasn't charged today.

And the one finally charged, well he got away.

With a gun or without
Lunging in or running away
In a car, on the street
Doesn't matter
So it seems.

I'm tired of the continued cries
Of people saying 'he deserved it'

If only he was blah blah blah
If only he said blah blah blah
If only he knew blah blah blah.

I need to shut out that mess.
Because it's a tired record

As tired as those same folks saying
'I don't see color and why do 'they'
Make it all about race?

My husband, my sons
Are Trayvon, Tamir, Oscar, Philando, 
Walter, Michael, Donte, Eric, Freddie..
That's not even close to the number
Just the names off the top of my head.

The wrong officer on the wrong day
They are just a murder away

So please understand
I don't care about your feelings
I'm not tip toeing anymore
If you feel uneasy
Please just move around.

The truth is the truth.
Period point blank.
You have nothing to fear
In a man running away.

So quit saying it's the circumstances
Quit saying it's 'their' fault
If I don't see you examining
Your own biases?
We're all at fault.

Do you fear every time your son leaves the house?
Do you fear every time your husband leaves the house?
Do you fear every time you hear a squad car behind you?
And fear of....not inconvenience or trouble or a ticket....

But death?

Know this...
The officer isn't always right.
They lie like everyone else.
The good ol boys club
Protects their own.
And disgraces the uniform so many wear proudly
Protecting and serving the community around them.

And if God forbid, something horrific happens
Does my loved one become a hashtag for others to analyze?
Did he obey "enough"?
Did he follow "enough"?
Was his music quiet "enough"?
Was his stance dolice "enough"?
Was his facial expression kind "enough"?

Was his fear real "enough"?????????

So we've taught them
Sit up, turn on inside light, wallet out and on dash, hands on steering wheel, slow movements, no sudden movements, minimal eye contact.

Sit up straight.....cuz "thugs" slouch (also known a n****s)
Turn on the inside avoid "we thought there was a gun"
Wallet out.....well, because Philando
Hands on steering wheel....cuz problems when "we couldn't see his hands"
Slow movements....cuz "I feared for my life, he was like an animal"
No sudden movements....well, because Oscar.
Minimal eye contact....cuz there's a WHOLE lotta folks that deep down can't STAND a confidant black man making direct eye contact and letting you know that he knows that you know.

Your reality?
No?  Well....
If not, I need you to either try and empathize...or hell, at least acknowledge that it is reality for many.
If you can't?

Then like I've said many times....we can be casual but we can't be close.  
And at this point in my life....I'm hella good with that.

That's what I've got today.

*orginially posted on Mindy's Blog